The Good Son

Do you ever wonder what your purpose is on this earthly plane? I do, a lot, and I have come to believe that we might have multiple purposes, majors and minors, if you want to think of it in those terms. Am I here to add beauty to the world with lovely interior designs, or to create whimsical gardens? Am I here as a teacher for those struggling with basic math, the curse that still plagues us as adults, after all, just about everyone has to learn Microsoft Excel. Or is my purpose to help keep everyone calm and find solutions for corporate changes? Perhaps I am here just to be one of those who says thank you to the vendors at the store and leaves a nice tip for the server in a restaurant. Or maybe it is something that I have teased a lot of people about, that I do believe that I hear confessions. What is it about me? Do I have an aura that draws it to me? Do I just look like someone that you think you can bear your soul to . . . thoughtful deep brown eyes and a quiet smile? Whatever it is, somehow people find me and tell me their story, and they feel better after they have shared it with another soul.

I was sitting at the bar of a popular restaurant, just having a glass of cabernet and making polite conversation with those around me, like the nice gay man on my left who seemed to be in the wrong place, and the young quiet man on my right who was waiting for his take-out meal. He had a great smile and lovely aura, he seemed grateful for the return of a smile by another dark-eyed soul, and went off to work. Another man sat down in his vacated seat. He ordered a merlot. I made more polite conversation, this time, with him. He drank another merlot, and we kept on talking. He ordered another one. Ah, here we go, I feel a confession coming, as I realized that he was trying to drown his pain. I would know about that, for I have been in his shoes before. I was nursing a wound that night as well. But my wound was not so deep, it did not need to be drowned, just reflected upon while sipping a glass of wine, which left me the emotional space to listen to his story, to share his pain, and to release it from him, if only for a short while.

His life was revolving around taking care of his mom after his father passed on. Living close to where she does, taking care of all the details when he was in town. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me that is what the first-born son does. Such an honorable son, taking his responsibilities to his parents to heart, but it was also killing him inside, for he was losing his own life. His job sent him traveling, a lot. For many of us, such a job that took you to places all over the world would be our dream job, but for him, it was becoming a chore. I think something that he once loved had become coated with a cloak of guilt. Maybe he did not feel it was right to enjoy his life when he was away, for now it took him from the prime concern of a good son, properly taking care of his widowed mom.

I don’t know what else it may have cost him. Perhaps a chance at marriage? That happened to me once. I gave up my chance to marry a wonderful man, for he lived on the opposite coast, and my mom and dad were starting to have health issues and needed weekly care. Good daughter that I was, I just couldn’t leave them to follow my dream, so I truly understood the emotional conflicts of this good son.

I never offered him any advice. I could have told him what my doctor told me as I became sicker and sicker taking care of my mom after my dad passed on, that it was time for siblings to help, that you cannot be expected to kill yourself to help another to live. But I only listened to his story, as he did not ask for any advice or seem to be in a place yet where he was ready to do anything about it, for I may have been the very first soul that he had ever told about it.

Do you believe that you can change another person’s life by directing kind thoughts to them? I do. Do you even need to know who the person is? I don’t think so. You just need to know their essence and some way to connect to them. I believe that you know this man’s essence now, the good son, and that you have a connection to him, this story. So, let’s all “pay it forward” for someone who we don’t know personally, but we do know deserves our help, for he is a good son. Let us hope that our kind thoughts wing their way into his heart and help him find a solution where he can still be a good son but have a life of his own too. I believe it is our delightful responsibility to help him out by sending him our best wishes, for that is what good souls do.